I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
