That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
