Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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