okay pat passed out under dana's car
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
