If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
