oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
try to milk me bitch
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