I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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