i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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