Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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