I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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