What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
