Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have already put on my inside pants.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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