Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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