Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
