suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
