guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i need some magic done to my vagina
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
