they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All I want is dick and wine.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
