i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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