We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
