brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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