okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
