her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
