So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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