We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh god it's open bar.
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