I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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