dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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