I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
