I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
