Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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