Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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