Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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