can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
