the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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