Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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