And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
