Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We just shotgunned beers for America
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
