Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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