He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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