How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
