Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
