Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
