its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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