hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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