Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
