Kareoke will never be a sober sport
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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