Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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