he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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