Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
