respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
