been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
